Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Independent Writing: Chapter 2 of Mystery (group project with Amanda and Janee)

Mack stared blankly at the dark grey shadow tucked behind the door of his hotel room as he lifted his feet lightly carefully taking each step on the wooden floor towards the door. As he creaked forward, he began slipping his right hand into the pocket hidden inside his jacket grasping onto an L shaped object creating a bump on the outer fabric of his pocket.The closer Mack go to the door, the further the shadow stepped away into the hallway of the hotel, disappearing slowly. When Mack reached the grey painted door, the shadow had completely vanished into the dark hallways, but it's footsteps could still be slightly heard.Mack discreetly stepped onto the carpet of the hallway floor and traced his fingers down the wall nearest to him, stopping when his fingers came upon a metal rectangle hammered to the wall, a switch lay perfectly in the middle of the metal rectangle. Mack curled his index finger around the switch and slowly pulled it upwards. The light stunned the shadow, and caused it to freeze in place against the wall. Mack squinted his eyes and immediately recognized the shadow as the receptionist who had troubled him because he had not reserved the hotel room. He took a step forward and mouthed the words written on her pin, attached to her white blouse. Trudy Goldenberg the pin stated. Trudy fumbled with her hair and croaked, "Mack! I mean Mr.Abernathy! I was just passing dye, I mean bye. Excuse me, it seems I can't get my words right today. I do hope your feeling quite cozy at our hotel." Trudy cleared her throughout and traveled her bony fingers down her wrinkly dress, trying to straighten the pleats. "Quite" responded Mack in a cold tone. He stepped closer and closer to the receptionist as he started pulling out more and more the L shaped object from his pocket. "Thats delightful!" Trudy exclaimed and she began stepping back. "Now, now, don't move sweets", as Mack said those words he pulled out the L shaped object from his inside pocket and directly pointed it to Trudy's chest as she shrieked. "No! Please! I won't tell!" Trudy slammed her knees to the grown,creating a great smack on the floor and dug her nails into the red carpet, collecting dirt under her scarlet painted nails. Mack took a step forward and found himself touching the gun to her lips,and pulling the trigger on her scream.

4 comments:

  1. agreed. very well said.
    oh wait but you should have a part where melinda runs out of the room past them but mack is too busy to try and catch her and she gets away.

    ReplyDelete

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