Weeping Willow

Moving is a hard thing for most people and even though it takes a couple of months, you end up feeling somewhat attached to your house, and start calling it a home. In my lifetime, I have moved 6 times, so you would think I would have gotten used to the whole thing of letting go of your home. I thought so too, until we moved from my last house, 33 Willow Place. Out of the 6 times that I had moved, I had lived a Willow Place the longest.

            

I thought Willow Place was perfect place to live.  It had everything from nice big square rooms, to windows everywhere I turned and even a tree house in my back yard that I would scramble off of, onto the maple tree standing next to it. I guess it was an easy way out to say I climbed to the top of a tree. On top of it all, I lived in the best neighborhood you could imagine. There were trees that bloomed big, pink flowers while I ran to the ice cream parlor to get my vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles. It was like being in a movie. Suddenly, my mom had this crazy idea that we had to “downsize” since my brother had moved out. Okay… I admit, a four-story house was a little big for three people, but I couldn’t tell my mom that, or it would be certain that we would start house hunting immediately. In the end, it wouldn’t have mattered what I thought about moving, my mom had made up her mind. We were moving to a duplex apartment, on Green Place. Green Place didn’t sound as friendly as Willow Place, it sounded more… business like, to me. I acted like a teenager and said that I couldn’t care less, but that was definitely not the case.

My mom never found out how I felt, until recently, so I dealt with my situation on my own. Even though I wanted to, I couldn’t pretend I didn’t care about moving out of Willow Place forever, so I began writing up a plan to conquer my fear of leaving my beloved home. As soon as I moved into my new apartment, I would pretend I was back at my old house, by doing things I used to do in my old house, like climbing trees in my back yard, or crawling into a corner with a flashlight to read Archie Comics, and slowly, but surely, my apartment started feeling like a home.

            

60 Green Place, will never, ever compare to 33 Willow Place, but with a little bit of imagination, it can come close, and imagination helped me get passed how upset I was over moving.

Past Poems, Present Thoughts

This is another poem that I found from last year in 7th grade. I thought that maybe posting a new poem every week would help make my blog stronger. I chose this poem this week, because it talks about one of my favorite places in the world, and once again incorporates my grandfather who died from Lung Cancer. However, I am in a lighter mood in this poem then in the poem I posted on my blog last week about my grandfathers death, Little Blue Boat, because whenever I think of Place de Vosges, I lighten up, and I know my grandpa does too, wherever he is.  Can you guys figure out what this special place of mine is? Can you find my deceased grandpa in the poem?

Place des Vosges

I think of you

In this place too

I think of him

And peace within

I think of her

When everything else

Is just a blur

I would want to fly

Very

Very

High

To reach this place

Where I can think

And not sink

Into the deaths

Of the robotic cycle

We

Call

Life

Got Some Info In 'Em Picture Books

Recently, my class and I kicked off into a new writing unit in ELA (English Language Arts), picture books! For the next few weeks, we were going to be drafting picture books that we would later on read to young kids at an elementary school. However, before we started drafting, we had to research on our topic. My topic was dolphins, and I did much research on them, so here is a little overview on how my research experience went. Enjoy!

After I had seen the movie The Cove by Ric O’Barry, I thought I knew everything there was to know about dolphins being slaughtered and treated unfairly. However, after reading two articles, and beginning to follow a blog about the topic, I found out there was so much more to dolphin treatment than what I already knew. Both articles were quite short, but buried with information and one was bias, the other just there to get the information out to the audience, so I got to see points of view, making me feel different things. Articles that load you with information and make you think and feel a certain way, are a success, making my research on the topic of dolphins, and the way they’re being treated, a breeze.

        

The first article that I found, was an overview of dolphins, on the website wikipedia. It was great that I found this article, because it gave me just one little paragraph on every topic about dolphins. Topics like, behavior of dolphins, popular culture, and human threats. Topics like these will help a lot when I write my picture book because I can incorporate what I learned in the article, in my story and characters. I loved this article because it taught me so much about dolphins and it wasn’t bias, it was just there for people like me who want to know everything there is to know about dolphins and dolphin treatment.

        

My second article, was even shorter and much more bias than the first one. It only talked about the evil of slaughtering dolphins, and most obviously wanted us to help them free dolphins. Even though I am completely for saving dolphins it would have been nice to see a different perspective on the topic, so I could incorporate that in my article. In my picture book, I want to show both sides of the story on dolphin treatment and help my audience decide for themselves what they want to do about the issue. It’s going to be hard if neither one of the articles that I found would give the other side of the story! The article was great, and gave me much information about people helping and what we can do to save dolphins today, but trying to make me feel a certain way kind of frustrated me.

My whole research process was fantastic. Even though sometimes, I got angered with the authors of the article, I still found out a lot and that is what counts. I can always do more research on the topic, but at least now my knowledge on what I will be writing about in my picture book has been expanded a tremendous amount.

Rock A Bye Boaty

I wrote this poem last year, in 7th grade, and I wanted to put it on my blog because this poem was about the struggles my grandpa faced when he was fighting Lung Cancer, and what it was like for me to loose him. However, just some back-round information about my grandpa's sickness: he had Lung Cancer from smoking and everyone thought his death was near, but on April Fool's we found out his Lung Cancer was gone, finite. Turns out god was playing on April Fool's joke on us because a few month's later it came back and he died, so our worries, and his sickness were always rocking back and forth and jumping up and down, scared for the next news.

Little Blue Boat

The Little Blue Boat

Chimes

Then sways

The Little Blue Boat

Swims

And swifts

The Little Blue Boat

Pulls

And Turns

The Little Blue Boat

Pushes

And

Struggles

That Little Blue Boat

Slips

And sinks

Deep

Beneath

Our souls

We Hit the Smooth and the Rough

Dear readers,

In the past 7 weeks, Amanda, Janee and I have gone through many difficult tasks to have our final independent writing piece finished, but in the end I am proud of the work we have accomplished. With both smooth spots and rough spots, all three of us were able to grow immensely in our knowledge of independent writing, and we’re happy with what we ended up with so I would call our first independent writing cycle a success!

Right away, Amanda, Janee and I all agreed that we wanted to write a mystery on something ridiculous, but with the crazy minds all three of us have, that wasn’t too hard. However, since we were focused on writing a mystery, we had to make sure that everything fit and that we gave the reader a little bit of a clue but not to much information and that was very difficult, but that was the best part, for me at least. The story that we ended up coming up with is so very exciting and I was always jumping up and down waiting to read it. I would some times imagine myself being sucked into the story, as though it was one of the world’s best mysteries (remember, my imagination) and that’s was I loved about working with two other people because we could cook up a great story that could almost make me want to pee my pants I wanted to read it so bad! I certainly hope our readers feel the same way!

That was my favorite part of the writing cycle but being in a group also had its rough spots. In the beginning we were all working very rapidly, and efficiently. Everything was going at a smooth pace. We would each write a chapter of the story on our ELA (English Language Art) blog every week.  Amanda, Janee and I all thought we were ahead in the writing process until we put all the chapters we had written together and nothing made sense! There were bits missing here and there and turns out Amanda and I had written our chapters on the same part of the story! We had all gotten what we were supposed to write in our chapters mixed up. With a ton of revision and editing to do, we started becoming lazy, goofing around and the work started piling up. Near the end, we had to rush to revise and edit our piece to hand it in time and it was definitely not as good as we would have wanted it to be, but we were excited to finally have it done and show it to you.

Working with my friends was certainly a blast, and I love the piece we have now, you definitely need to have the discipline to work in a group. In the next independent writing cycle, I think I’ll try it solo. How about about? Playing solitary like me with your writing?

Sincerely, Nina Attal

P.S Excerpts of our independent writing mystery is on my blog!

                 

Mistress Mary Quite Contrary, How Does Your Garden Grow?

Have you ever experienced a moment were you ask somebody what something is, and they are so completely and utterly shocked that you don't already know what it is? This seems to happen to me all the time. Then once I finally know all the details about this new, how should I say it? thing. I see it everywhere! One time my friend Sabrina mentioned the Kardashians, and my response was of course, "Who are the Kardashians?". Sabrina was immediately surprised and explained to me everything about the Kardashians. Now, I see the name Kardashian everywhere, and oh boy to I mean everywhere. The whole not knowing what something is then suddenly seeing is everywhere system, was how I found out about The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Ms. Robbins, my English Language Arts teacher, was showing us an example of an Appreciation (to later write an Appreciation our selves) and, this Appreciation was about the the book The Secret Garden. Naturally, I had never heard of such a book. Still, after reading the Appreciation of the book, I was not yet convinced, or even interested in Frances Hodgson Burnett's fiction. I had forgotten about the book until recently, when I saw the familiar title on Netflix Watch Instantly. I was intrigued by the cover, and thought it would be an interesting experiment to see the film. To my surprise, I loved the film The Secret Garden so much. It was full of beauty and brought up so many emotions in me. I immediately went to download the book on my iPad because I was way to much of a hurry to begin reading the book, instead of going out to buy it.

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett is a fiction book about a sour, bratty girl named Mary Lennox. Mary Lennox was an unwanted child born in India, whose parents hid her away with her Ayah and got mostly always got what she wanted. People in her surroundings detested Mary and her behavior.  Mary mostly kept to herself because she had no one to play with and never showed any emotion, even after her parents died in a cholera, which was a disease, outbreak. With no one to take care of Mary in India, she was shipped off to live in Yorkshire with her Uncle Archibald Craven. Mary feels unloved and alone in her uncle's humongous house and she is forbidden in almost every room in the mansion. You know how kids are though, if you tell them not to do something, they'll do the exact opposite and go ahead and do it. That's exactly what Mary did.

The way Frances Hodgson Burnett writes fascinates me. She hooks you into the action of the story on page one, and I love that. I hate it when you have to wait 10 Chapters before the book actually gets interesting. She also tells the reader a load of information in just the first two chapters. I already know what most of the characters are like and why they are like that. I also know the events of the first 10 years of Mary Lennox's life. With this load, I should have a bunch of things to talk about, but the most interesting part to me so far in the first few chapters, was the song the kids in India used to sing about Mary to get her angry. The song went like this: Mistress Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow? With silver bells, and cockle shells, and marigolds all in a row. Why would the kids sing this song to her? I found it quite odd, and I keep asking myself if somewhere along the road of reading the book, we'll find out. After all, the book is called The Secret Garden and the song talks about mistress Mary, and how her garden grows. Oh boy, I'm eager to find out, I have to go and read!

 

Response to the World

I don't know if it's because I am getting older and noticing more, or our race is getting wiser because recently, I have been noticing a lot of call the action in our society. Calls to help others and make our world more just. Calls to replenish our generation. Calls like these helped me begin thinking about everything I could do to help my peers and make Earth a better place for my kids and grand kids to live in.

The first charitable event that made me begin thinking about really giving everything I have to help people, was the music video World on Fire directed by Sophie Muller.  The music video is about how a young singer, Sarah Mclachlan, is given a budget of $150,000 to make a music video. Instead, she bought basic things and did her own make up, so that the music video was a total of $15.  The rest of the money went to charity organization that help people all over the world. 100 children's school fees for one term in Ethiopia or five bicycle ambulances in Nepal. What Sarah Mclachlan did, really made me wonder that by making your life a little simpler, then you can make others loves much easier. If everyone shut off the water while they were brushing their teeth, or took shorter showers, then there would be enough water for everyone. However, some families are needy and making their lives simpler is just a little to hard of a task for them.

Another charitable event that really captured my interest was the movie The Cove created the OPS (Oceanic Preservation Society). The Cove is a documentary about a group of scientist who go on a mission to find out what  happens to dolphins in the city of Taiji, Japan. They hide cameras every where and risk going to prison to find out Taiji's secret, because they have sheer determination.  What is said to happen in Taiji: the dolphins are captured and brought to a bay every September where trainers from all over the world with swim with the dolphins programs, pick their dolphins and bring them back to their Resort or Aquarium. The dolphins are then let free from the bay. The truth: the dolphins are captured and brought to a bay every September where trainers from all over the world with swim with the dolphins programs, pick their dolphins and bring them back to their Resort or Aquarium. The dolphins are then slaughtered and the dolphin meat is then fed to children who eat cafeteria food in Japan. After I saw this movie, I was terrified and immediately was upset with myself for always wanting to swim with dolphins and supporting aquariums. Now, giving as much money to the OPS, which a group of people who are trying to help dolphins, and opening people's eyes to the real way dolphins are treated is my goal.

No matter if it is even a second, any of the time you give can help us towards making our government a better one. What Sarah Mclachlan did was brave, because she had no idea if her music video about charity and calling us to action to help the less fortunate was going to make any money, but she wasn't thinking  about money, she was thinking about what she could do to make our society a better one, and that's what we all need to do. The OPS was brave because they could have been arrested for everything they did to help the dolphins.

We can all help. Even if it is not littering or walking an old lady across the street,  sharing is caring. I'm calling you guys for help. Help to bring justice around the world.

You can watch World on Fire on www.youtube.com
You can watch The Cove on Netflix Watch Instantly

Independent Writing: Chapter 5 of Mystery (group project with Amanda and Janee)

Their eyes met and locked together as if they should never part but Rosalyn took all the strength she had inside her to pull herself from his grip and begin walking away without any kind of goodbye.  She felt his eyes staring at the thick black curls, clinging to the back of her. She heard tears coming from his watery eyes, even though she was already a few yards away, walking urgently away. She ignored the regrets and doubts she was feeling and continued walking on the path to her and her deceased month, Trudy's house, not looking back at Michael once.

She passed several cars, one a Buick, and several soda shops, while her yellow dress swiped her knees and caressed the scar on her left leg. Her walking became gradually slower and went from urgency to a calm stroll. She let the wind blow through her hair, and let the tiny droplets of water place themselves on her long eyelashes. These droplets gave Rosalyn a sign that a storm was near. The black clouds hung in the sky helped her make this estimation too. She again began walking urgently and payed no attention to the grown man wearing a beige tux bumping into her, or the small silver colored dog yapping at her ankles. After passing quickly through all the streets continuously ignoring her surroundings, she finally reached her house. She had been avoiding her, what once was home now just a house, to avoid the fact that her mother was gone, and skip the torturing pain of encountering old memories of her scattered around the house.

Rosalyn stared nervously at the bland door in front of her.  She sucked in the ashy air and shut her eye lids, Okay, go in, get what you need, get out. It didn't seem like that hard of a task right?  Rosalyn curled her fingers around the bronze door knob and turned it until she heard a faint click. She placed the palm of her hand in the middle of the door and pushed it aside while she rushed in rapidly, tucking her head between her shoulders, heading straight for the kitchen door. Walking down the hallway, she spotted out of the corner of her eye a brown valise placed sloppily on the wooden floor and shot her hand down to pick it up. While going up the stairs, the valise made loud thunks but Rosalyn ignored it and kept on look forward, not looking at any photos, bills or clothing flung around the house here and there.

After the valise took a hard beating from the first floor to the second, it rolled smoothly in Rosalyn's hand to her room. She found that the door of her room was already open so she slipped inside and searched around her room for the things needed for the train she would soon be catching.
She took a dress or two, a pair of socks, undergarments, a few books and finally, she stepped into her mothers room, and chucked a picture of her mother and herself sitting at the beach, letting all worries pass right by their heads, into her valise. She began stepping outside her mothers bedroom because even just running in to grab a picture made her eyes teary, but she noticed a strange bronze box placed right under her mothers bed. Rosalyn checker her watch quickly, No time. Just grab it. She shot down and slipped out from under the bed and hesitated whether to put it in her valise or keep it in her arms, and decided to keep it in her arms, were she knew her mothers box would be secure. She scrambled down the stairs, her valise bounding after her, taking another hard beating and jogged out the door. Leaving every trace of memories, and running to catch her train.

Worlds On Fire Lyrics

Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You're not alone in this story's pages
Night has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And I try to hold it in, yeah I try to hold it in

[Chorus]
The world's on fire and
It's more than I can handle
I'll tap into the water
(I try to pull my ship)
I try to bring more
More than I can handle
(Bring it to the table)
Bring what I am able

I watch the heavens and I find a calling
Something I can do to change this moment
Stay close to me while the sky is falling
Don't wanna be left alone, don't wanna be alone

[Chorus]

Hearts break, hearts mend
Love still hurts
Visions clash, planes crash
Still there's talk of
Saving souls, still the cold
Is closing in on us

We part the veil on our killer sun
Stray from the straight line on this short run
The more we take, the less we become
A fortune of one that means less for some

[Chorus X2]

An Appreciation for The Phantom Tollbooth

         Have you ever found a book that moved you so much that you could read it a thousand times and know that it would still be just as good? Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster gave me that feeling when I read about Milo stepping into the Tollbooth when it first appeared and began his adventure with Tock and the Humbug in The Lands of Beyond. Norton Juster’s clever and witty writing inspired me to sit in a corner and sink into the Phantom Tollbooth and block out all my worries, which I haven’t done in months. 

         My big words and the phrase “ an appreciation” might bore you and even maybe scare you but just in case you are reading this, you should know that Phantom Tollbooth created miracles and magic for me so you’re a lucky duck if your hands are flipping through its pages at this moment.  When my hands first stumbled upon the Phantom Tollbooth, I was thirteen (which is my age now!). I had heard about the book when I was younger, but had not had the opportunity to read it until recently. When I asked around to find out a little bit about the book, the words used to describe The Phantom Tollbooth were, marvelous and intelligent. How right they were.

         Phantom Tollbooth broadens your view with big ideas, and small ideas. Some of the big ideas that taught the characters in the book a lesson as well as teaching me a lesson, are things like looking past the obvious, or you need love, just as much as you need knowledge to make things work smoothly. Smaller ideas in the book that spice up the story is how Norton Juster uses his creativity to make you laugh such as, “halfbakery” for half baked ideas or subtraction stew where every time you take a bite of the stew, you get hungrier. So, if you’re ready to go on the most amazing adventure ever, then follow Milo’s steps and step right into the Tollbooth and begin your adventure in The Lands of Beyond. Go ahead, it’s not like it will bite!

Reading Response: Graphic Novel "F-Stop"

 If you have not read the graphic novel F-Stop by Antony Johnson and Matthew Loux, I recomend you don't read this post because I reveal the ending. Thanks!

Over the week-end, it was pouring, and I was in no mood to go outside, so, I had to find something to do right? My TV wasn't hooked up yet, my interent was down, and we had no paper to draw on. I Finally decided that staring at the wall all day, wasn't an option, so I ran in the cold to my neighborhood comic store and baught four graphic novels. I read them all in 2 hours and had to again find something to do but that's not the point. The point is that one of these graphic novels, was one of the best graphic novels I have read in my life.  The way it was drawn was different from usual, the story based itself off of photography (which is one of my favroite hobbies) and had a very interest plot.

F-Stop by Antony Johnson and Matthew Loux is a story about a young artist with a masters degree in English, but can't kick off his dream life as a fashion photographer. One day he mates an attractive woman and his friends, trying to help him out, tell this woman he is a a grand and famous fashion photographer. What luck! This woman was a model! That night the young man goes home not expecting the next day to get a call from Gauche, the most famous magazing in fashion industry. The attractive woman had been a model for Gauche, and that day, Gauche needed a photographer, she they called up the old photographer and asked him to fill in for a missing photographer. Only the young man didn't know that dozens of problems lay ahead.

F-Stop was my favorite graphic novel from the four I read because it was different. It wasn't just about a young girl solving a mystery or four teenagers running around in the big city crashing into problems. It taught me that if you work hard enough, you can make your dream come true. This graphic novel also taught me that you do need other people to help you face your problems. The fact that the graphic novel had great lessons, interesting pictures and it's based off of one of my most favorite things to do, was marvelous. Thank you F-Stop, you saved my weekend!

Independent Writing: Prompt

During our period of independent writing in English Language Arts today,  Ms.Robbins  gave us a prompt to write off of for  five minutes, to help our minds enter our creative side and begin writing independently. The prompt was: The green leaves littered the sidewalks. As i began writing off this prompt as I do every Tuesday during our independent writing period, I realized my writing resembled much what I used to do on the walk to my old school, P.S 8. So, I thought I might share it because it brings back old memories and that means a lot to me

The green leaves littered the sidewalk... but I slowly scattered them to the sides of the street creating a path for me. I scattered the  leaves to edge of  the curb past the deli, where the smell of coffee, bagels and cheap potato chips wafted up my nose. Past the pet store where  I  decided to skip over the step of pushing the leaves to the side and just let them crunch under my feet as I stepped rapidly past the store, because truthfully, I didn't like the smell of  dog biscuits and the sound of dog biting down on a plastic bone. I past the old book store and saw the old woman at her desk, tucked behind a book and dust, as usual. Normally, I would make up stories about every person that bumps into me, or about every bodega or store that I pass buy. Yesterday, I pretended that the old woman from the bookstore turned into a dragon! I guess I was in a good mood that day, I usually turn people into dragons on a good day but, not today. The leaves looked like they had been ripped from the trees by force.  I bent down and picked up a leaf that was broken at the end, I stayed down and wove my laces out of their holes in my black sneakers. I began raping the lace around the brown stem  of the leaf. I then tied the other end of the lace  to a tree beside me. I wished I could do that for all the leaves and then let the laces go when the leaves turned their maple color but I knew that that was impossible so  I continued my walk being careful not to step on any trees and left my lace attached to the branch behind and hoped that next year, the leaves would grow on the trees, live their full life and fall of their trees when they were ready too, not when the wind forced them off their branches.

Reading Response: The Phantom Tollbooth

After Reading Phatom Tollbooth by Norton Juster for the first time, i found it delightfully funny, just as much as I found it interesting. Its detail and cleverness captured me to sink more and more into the story every time I opened the book. I found it hard to stop and write post-its because once I entered The Land of Beyond, I could not leave it. However, I did have ideas flowing through my head on almost every page! An idea that I found myself tracking the most frequently in the book is how the author chose his words.  For example, on page 16 as Milo is just recently entering this new world, to describe Milo's surroundings, Norton Juster writes beautifully, The flowers shone as if they had been cleaned and polished. Descriptions like these can show you exactly what Norton Juster wants you to see this world as. To sink you even more into the story, Norton Juster places things interestingly. He places them in a way that makes you stop and think for a second. Some examples of when he does this is in Dictionopolis, and everyone "eats their words" or a halfbakery for "half baked ideas".  An example how he places things, but show a deeper meaning than a halfbakery, is the reason he called Rhyme and Reason...well, Rhyme and Reason! As Ms.Robbins mentioned, Rhyme can mean poetry or love, and Reason can mean knowledge, and if these two things are not in The Land of Beyond, than nothing can go right!  So,  Milo sets on a  journey to save The Land of Beyond, and my boredom.

Independent Writing: Chapter 2 of Mystery (group project with Amanda and Janee)

Mack stared blankly at the dark grey shadow tucked behind the door of his hotel room as he lifted his feet lightly carefully taking each step on the wooden floor towards the door. As he creaked forward, he began slipping his right hand into the pocket hidden inside his jacket grasping onto an L shaped object creating a bump on the outer fabric of his pocket.The closer Mack go to the door, the further the shadow stepped away into the hallway of the hotel, disappearing slowly. When Mack reached the grey painted door, the shadow had completely vanished into the dark hallways, but it's footsteps could still be slightly heard.Mack discreetly stepped onto the carpet of the hallway floor and traced his fingers down the wall nearest to him, stopping when his fingers came upon a metal rectangle hammered to the wall, a switch lay perfectly in the middle of the metal rectangle. Mack curled his index finger around the switch and slowly pulled it upwards. The light stunned the shadow, and caused it to freeze in place against the wall. Mack squinted his eyes and immediately recognized the shadow as the receptionist who had troubled him because he had not reserved the hotel room. He took a step forward and mouthed the words written on her pin, attached to her white blouse. Trudy Goldenberg the pin stated. Trudy fumbled with her hair and croaked, "Mack! I mean Mr.Abernathy! I was just passing dye, I mean bye. Excuse me, it seems I can't get my words right today. I do hope your feeling quite cozy at our hotel." Trudy cleared her throughout and traveled her bony fingers down her wrinkly dress, trying to straighten the pleats. "Quite" responded Mack in a cold tone. He stepped closer and closer to the receptionist as he started pulling out more and more the L shaped object from his pocket. "Thats delightful!" Trudy exclaimed and she began stepping back. "Now, now, don't move sweets", as Mack said those words he pulled out the L shaped object from his inside pocket and directly pointed it to Trudy's chest as she shrieked. "No! Please! I won't tell!" Trudy slammed her knees to the grown,creating a great smack on the floor and dug her nails into the red carpet, collecting dirt under her scarlet painted nails. Mack took a step forward and found himself touching the gun to her lips,and pulling the trigger on her scream.